Headphones
by Voice4TheMute
Summary: In retrospect, maybe it wasn't a good idea for Kim to spend the night at Scott's place...especially when it's the first night Scott and Ramona got back together. Rated M for sexually explicit material. Not intended for young readers.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley and other respectable parties. This story is purely for entertainment purposes and not to be sold anywhere.

**This is a work of fiction, any similarity or likeness to any events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.**

**THIS STORY IS NOT INTENDED FOR A YOUNGER AUDIENCE. THIS STORY CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR AGES 17 AND UNDER. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

A/N: My first M-rated story. Just had the idea in my head and I figured I share it with you guys. 'What if' questions are always fun to do…and I had a lot of fun writing it. Also, please note that this is not intended to be a lemon. It is suppose to be an awkwardly funny story. But if it does arouse you for some reason…I guess that's a bonus!

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><p><em><span>Voice4TheMute Presents <span>_

"Are you sure you two? I mean, I don't want to intrude or anything." I said to the two people in front of me. The man with light brown hair looked over to the girl with blue shoulder-length hair and smiled.

"Of course Kim! I mean, we don't want to throw you out in the streets." Scott said, but he was still looking at his American ninja-delivery girlfriend. "Right Ramona?"

"Yup. Afterall, I have to stay here as well until I can get my old place back from the landlord. Assuming she'll give it back to me…" Ramona said to me as she brushed a stray hair out of her face.

"Well…" I started "…it'll probably take me one week, maybe two weeks tops." I didn't want to intrude on Scott and Ramona's place. I mean, it's been less than twenty-four hours since I came back to Toronto and much to my displeasure, Hollie already rented out my old room. But I don't blame her…if she had to sell the couch for rent money then I'm glad she found a body to pay for rent. The problem was that it left me homeless when I came back. At least that's what I thought until Scott offered me a place to stay. I thought he found me a place…then I realize he's giving me his couch in his one bedroom, one toilet, second floor apartment. I should have known better…but I was appreciative of Scott's offer. Maybe it's his way of atoning for the past…maybe he wanted the company…maybe he wanted to repair our friendship.

Either way I humbly accepted his offer. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? It is only when Scott brought me to his place after picking me up from the Dundas Street Coach Terminal that I saw a problem…Ramona was there…and she looked like she was barely settled in herself.

"So…Ramona? How long have you been living in this attic?" I asked her as Scott yelled 'hey!' at me.

"Actually, I just got here myself. Had to move all my things back from my old place to here. Gotta renew my lease first. And without my subspace bag, moving was a pain. So…I've been living here for maybe…five or six hours?"

"Five or six hours?" I repeated, but saying it to Scott as if it was a tiny detail he was leaving out when he offered me his couch.

"I don't see a problem!" Scott defended as he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. "…at least I don't see a problem."

"Don't worry Kim." Ramona said. "We will make sure you don't feel like a third wheel. We'll keep our hands off each other while we're all in the same room, right Scott?" She trailed as Scott retracted his hand that I saw was traveling slowly to her butt.

"Sorry! I mean…yeah. Of course. We'll behave ourselves…"

"YOU'LL behave yourself…" Ramona corrected.

"I'll behave myself." Scott said as Ramona patted his head.

"Good boy."

I felt a small smile spread on my face as I looked at my best friends. If I had to end up living with anyone, I'm glad it was them. It made me realize how lucky I was to have them…

…at least that's what I thought until I realize they were lying, dirty, loud rabbits!

_Headphones 027_

_1:08 am_

"Oh Scott! Oh Scott!" Ramona's voice echoed in the small apartment. Her voice reflected the pleasure and ecstasy-filled moments she was receiving from Scott. Whatever he was doing, he was doing it right and Ramona wanted more. And where was I? On the couch…

…with all the pillows over my head…

…trying DESPERATELY to cancel the moaning I was hearing originating from Scott's room.

_Make it stop! Oh God make it stop! _I yelled in my head as the six pillow barrier I made over my head was NOT blocking out the sounds. The apartment was devilishly designed too. Scott's room is at the end of a long hallway. At the other end of the hallway was where the living room. The sound goes through the hallway and echoes in the living room, bouncing off the walls, giving me a surround sounds feel. It felt like I'm IN the room with them!

_God dammit, god dammit, GOD DAMMIT! Who's the god damn architect so I can beat the crap out of him for making a terrible house design! This can't be happening…this isn't even right!_

"Oh Scott, right there. Yes!" Ramona's voice carried to the living room and giving me a nice earful of her lustful moans. I press the pillows harder against my ears, hoping soon that the pillows will perform osmosis to my ears. What's worse is that this has been going on for almost an hour. I've reached the point where if I go over and knock on their door now, they would know I was listening in on them…not that I wanted to listen in on them in the first place!

I took my blanket that Scott gave me (and praying he never 'used' it for post game cuddling) and draped it over the pillow barrier I made. _Maybe another layer will do the trick. _Soon…the moaning, the squeaking of the bed frame and the sounds of sucking slowly deafened to a point where I was no longer hearing it.

I slowly removed the blanket layer and disassembled the pillow fort I made over my head and sat up. My messy red hair was all over the place and most of it was in my eyes but I didn't care. The noises, the meaning, the dirty talk…stopped. All I heard was blissful silence.

_I…I think it's over._ I thought to myself as I leaned over and stared at the door that shielded me from what lies behind it. _Whew…finally. I mean, I understand this is their first night together after the 'Gideon' incident but man, turn down the volume a little. But I must say…Scott must have gotten his stamina up since high school…but whatever! At least now I can-_

"I think it's on now…"

"Oh really? Well come over here and let me see big boy…"

"Oh Ramona…!"

"Oh Scott!"

_OH GOD! Are you kidding me? Was that all foreplay! _I yelled in my head as I fell back on the couch and grabbed two pillows to thrust into each of my ears.

"Go slow please…it's been awhile and there is only so much I could do myself…"

_TMI! TMI! Now I know what my friend likes to do when Scott's not around!_

"Ahh!"

_Maybe if I can keep my mind busy I can survive the night. Then the next morning I can back the ice and make them feel embarrassed. Good plan…but…_

"Oh…Ramona! Slow down a bit, please. Ahh! Ahh!"

_Scott moaning! F that! _I thought as I grabbed more pillows and buried my face into them. Scott's moaning was probably the last thing I wanted to hear. I mean, he's my EX! Let alone that he's having sex with my best friend…_ Just gotta think of something…_

"Ramona! Ahh!"

_Dammit! Now I can't think of anything but stupid Scott Pilgrim. Stupid, naked Scott Pilgrim. Come on now Ramona…is he really that good? Granted I took his virginity and he probably got more experience over time, but really…is he that good? Our first time wasn't that great but then again whose isn't? two virgins fumbling around with each other without a clue what keeps them turned on or aroused. But the second time we did it…_

…_oh the second time…_

_It was at my place. Mom and dad left the house for the weekend and instructed me to watch the house. They specifically told me not to invite Scott or Lisa over. Of course…I invited both of them over. After a while day of play, gossip, and band practice, Lisa went home and I asked Scott to say behind to 'help with something'. That night…I'm not sure what it was…but it was great. Scott knew what he was doing...with his mouth…his hands…how to kiss and keep me teased…and what he did with his-_

"Yes!"

_What the-! What am I doing? Reminiscing like that. If I keep thinking about it…_

"Ramona…!"

…_and keep hearing it…_

"Scott…!"

"Mmm…" I let out a soft moan as my hands were already moving across my body. My hands were gliding across my sleeping shirt, feeling the natural curves of my body. My skin started to feel sensitive and I felt my body become warmer and warmer.

_It's been awhile…and long while. A touch of another man…_ I thought to myself, slipping a hand under my shirt and started to travel up from my waist…up from my stomach…all the way to my breast. I felt the lace on my bra and gently grazed the surface where I was the most sensitive.

"Ahh…" I silently moaned to myself. The feeling of arousal and lust started to fill my body. It was a feeling that no one could resist and God do I miss it. _The last time…Jason Kim. He knew what to do. He especially knew what to do with those hands._

"Ahh! Scott! Right there!" Ramona's voice echoes. But it didn't bother me anymore. If anything…they were helping.

Their moans were intoxicating. I used my free hand to move the allows away from my ears and reached behind me to unhook my bra with one hand- a signature move that Scott, himself, liked to use on me in the past. I actually found it very helpful as I am able to slip out of my bra in a matter of seconds.

"Yes Scott, right there…" I whispered out loud as I removed my bra and tossed it to the side. My hands started to playfully but forcibly feel my body as I continued to listen in on the actions of my friend and my former boyfriend. I started to close my eyes as I guided one of my hands down to the brim of my pajamas pants, gliding a finger back and forth across my sensitive pelvic.

"More…please…more Scott…" Ramona begged.

I slipped my hand past my pajama waistband and past the elastic of my now damp underwear all the way to the area that wanted all of my attention. A small moan escaped my lips as my fingers began to give me the relief that I was desperately trying to find.

"Scott…" I moaned as sounds of love and euphoria were filing my head. My hands moved faster, my breathing began to shallow. I was close…and I wanted to finish badly.

"Scott…yes…more, please." I continued to moan as I bit my lower lips so prevent me from saying it out loud.

"Scott. Faster…I'm almost there…" I heard Ramona say as I continued to move my fingers faster and faster.

"Oh God…I'm close too…" I replied as I could feel it coming. I was on the verge of sweet relief…until…

"Ramona! Oh God!"

I felt my eyes shoot open as the sound of Scott yelled Ramona's name and suddenly, the mood died…and it died HARD. I suddenly remembered where I am and the predicament I was in. I looked down at my body to see that my left hand was groping my chest and my right was all the way down my pants and deep between my legs. I slowly retracted my hands in horror as I realized what I was doing.

_OH DEAR GOD! I WAS GETTING OFF FROM THE SOUNDS OF MY FRIENDS HAVING SEX!_

I felt a permanent frown conquer my face as I grabbed the pillows once more and pressed them against my head to drown out the noise. _Oh God…if I got off from hearing them, I don't know what I would think the next morning. You know, assuming that I SURVIVE to see the next morning! I must have something that can help…ANYTHING!_ That's when it finally dawned on me.

_My Walkman!_

I quietly got off the couch and went to my luggage I brought from home. _Come on come on…I know it's here somewhere…_ There, resting at the very bottom of my clothes rested the Walkman that I had since I was in my teens. Looking at it as if it was the Holy Grail, I quickly placed the headphones over my head and made it back to the couch. I lay down and a surge of excitement filled my body as I felt my hands tremble… I was about to finally cancel out this horrible noise with some good old ROCK! Making sure the volume was set to its highest, I pressed the power switch and eagerly awaited the victory music to fill my ears…

…but it never came…

_What?_ I thought as I looked at the front panel of my Walkman and there I saw the 'low battery' icon blink at me. It was mocking me…it knew what I was going through…it was basically blinking 'you lose' in Morse code at me. My rush of excitement went back to horrible disappointment…then back to terror as the moaning became louder.

"Scott! Yes! I love you!"

"I love you too Ramona!"

_I HATE YOU TWO SOOOO MUCH!_ I yelled in my head, grabbing anything that wasn't bolted to the ground and covered my head with it.

It was going to be a looooong night…

…for everyone.

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><p>The End<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley and other respectable parties. This story is purely for entertainment purposes and not to be sold anywhere.

A/N: HELLOOOOOO SCOTT PILGRIM FANS! As customary on my birthday, I like to post a story or a chapter. For this year, I will be adding the LONG AWAITED chapter to one of my most popular (and humorous) story, Headphones! I hope that it's what you've all be looking forward to and more…!

-V4tM

**This is a work of fiction, any similarity or likeness to any events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.**

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><p><em><span>Voice4TheMute Presents<span>_

_Headphones Chapter 2:_

"NO sir, it is YOU who's the traitor!" I yelled, pointing my script as if it was sword towards my own reflection in the mirror. I made an unsatisfied face and I recomposed myself and tried it again. "No sir, YOU are the traitor!" I yelled, again, pointing my 'sword' to my reflection. "No…that doesn't feel right either." I said, tapping my chin with my rolled up script. "YOU are the TRAITOR!" I yelled again, with different inflections. I felt myself get embarrassed as I scratched my head furiously. "That's no good either!"

_Man oh man it's so good that no one comes to the first floor bathrooms at the end of the science building. If I didn't decide to explore St. Joel's my first day, I wouldn't have found this gem. A whole restroom that no one uses…a place where I can practice without anyone hearing me!_

I walked to the bathroom door and opened it, looking around. As I expected, the halls were empty and not a single soul in sight. The beauty of this area is that in order to get to it, you had to get through a hallway that is being used to store a lot of old props from the previous theater productions. Because of all the junk that was stored in the hallway no one would dare try to venture further in to see where it lead. Where it lead is this nice girl's restroom that still functional with multiple stalls and sinks.

"It's like a studio apartment but at school. Maybe I should move some clothes here and just live here for a awhile." I said aloud as I opened my script again. "Hmmm…maybe that's good for now. I promise Scott and Kim that I would go with them after school for some food. I wonder what we'll eat." I said as I looked at my wrist watch. "Thirty minutes. Maybe one or two more lines won't hurt. I guess I can practice my sword swing noises." I said, smiling as I rolled up my script again and held it like a sword.

"Hiya! HIya! HiYA!"

"We're almost there. Check out what I found."

"Erk!" I squeaked as I heard a voice coming ever so closer to where I was practicing. I wasn't sure what made me do it, but I retreated into the nearest stall and brought me feet up to pretend I wasn't there. In hindsight, I really wish I let my presence known.

[headphones 2]

"In here, check it out!"

"What are you doing? This is the women's restroom you idiot!"

I knew those voices. I knew them all too well. The first voice belonged to my best friend Scott Pilgrim. The Other? To my other best friend Kim Pine. They were dating each other, so it's no surprise that they were together wherever they go, but why of all places were they here?

"S-Scott. Why did you drag me through all that theater garbage to a restroom? A women's restroom at that? What if-" But Kim's angry voice was soon silence with what I can only describe as something covering her mouth. Her sudden stop in speech followed by the sound of lip smacking and sucking only meant one thing.

_Oh gross…they're making out…_ I thought as I felt my stomach churn. The sounds of kissing stopped and what I expected an angry Kim to continue yelled, was instead greeted by a soft purr.

"You idiot…what if someone comes through here right now? You'll get detention for being in the girl's restroom." I heard Kim say to Scott as he responded back.

"Lisa said that that no one comes here and she uses this place to practice sometimes."

_God dammit! Me and my big mouth!_

"Aren't' you worried that Lisa might show up?"

"Lisa said that she has to practice her lines with other actors today. So she won't be here."

_That's because the other actors couldn't make it! So I had to come here and practice instead! I gotta get out of here and show them that I'm actually here._ I thought as I was about to bring my foot down. But right when I was about to make contact with the ground, Scott's voice made me retract my legs again.

"So…do you wanna….?"

"Scott! We're meeting Lisa in half an hour." Kim's voice said in a soft whisper. I felt my eyes widen as the realization of what they were talking about.

_No way…are Scott and Kim…I guess I shouldn't be surprised. They have been going out for awhile. It's only natural that they- wait. Why am I analyzing this? I gotta get out of here!_

"That's plenty of time."

"Yesh, If you're doing it wrong." Kim hissed at him.

"We'll make it a quick one." Besides, it's been awhile since we…" Scott trailed as I heard the sound of clothes being shifted. Suddenly I found that my window of opportunity is now closed. If I go there now, I will not here the end of it, I will cock block both of my best friends, and there will be no living this down. I was trapped for the next thirty minutes, and I can only pray that what Scott had planned was really as 'quick' as he promised.

"Mmm…Scott…" Kim moaned a bit as the sound of cloth shuffling became more erratic. I felt a frown stay plastered as my face as I knew that I was in this for the long hall. Without making too much noise, I got into a comfortable fetal position. The sound of kissing and lip smacking came back as I did my best to zone out the noise and try to recite the lines in my head.

_Ok, OK. The Mean King, Act Two, Scene Four. "My King! My King! I come bearing news!_

"Ahh…Scott…"

_News from the Queen of Greenrail. She is ecstatic bout your proposal_

"Mmm…there…"

_She…uh…request that you send more…things. It pleases her. No…that's not how it went._

"Come on, Scott. Don't disappoint. Use one hand." Kim's voice echoed as I heard Scott's grunting.

"This damn….whoever made these things should be shot." Scott said as Kim let out a short laugh.

"Hard to believe the school's strongest man can't wrap his head around the concept of a bra." She said as the sound of her removing her shirt over her head. I heard her throw it on the ground, slightly in the line of sight of what I can see below the stall door.

"Lacey…"

"Don't gawk. I'm trying to teach you something." Kim said as there as more shuffling. "Here Scott. This is where they connect. It's being hold other by two hooks. See?" Kim said as I felt very self-conscious about my own bra. "You pinch right here with your middle finger and index finger and then you just release." I felt my throat get dry as I heard Scott fumble a bit with Kim's bra. It was almost as if I could feel him also messing with my bra. I kept my voice in check as each failed attempt by Scott made me feel a bit more shy but at the same time, a bit more anxious. I wanted him to succeed…so badly.

"I think I almost got it…there!" He said as a faint click sound was heard and the sound of moving fabric was heard.

"Good job. I- HEY! EASY!" Kim yelled as soon, I saw a bra fall on the ground next to where her shirt laid. "Easy tiger. No biting." I hear the sounds of sucking and skin touching fill the room again. Kim's erratic breath was getting louder and louder with each little smack of Scott's lips. Soon, the sounds of more clothing being removed was heard as more articles of clothing were being tosses one by one on the ground. I couldn't physically see what was going on, but the sounds and the sight of the clothes were enough to paint the picture in my head. Right behind this metal stall door were my best friends naked, moments away from having sex.

_This isn't right on so many levels. I just want to leave! Please let me leave!_ I thought as I looked at my watch. There was at least 20 minutes left. _Please hurry!_

""Mmm…haven't seen you this hard before."

_Urg!_

"Haven't see you this wet either."

_Gross!_

"Maybe this bathroom idea wasn't bad. It's kinda exciting, don't you think?"

_I need a new place to practice!_

"Maybe we should do it here more often."

_Please don't!_

"I can live with that." Kim said as the sound of kissing took over and the sound of hands shuffling over each other's bodies echoed throughout the bathroom. The sounds of soft moans and wet sounds made me feel very uncomfortable. Again, it was a blessing that this door was in the way, because I really didn't want to know what was going on behind that door or what Scott was doing to Kim to make her make those sounds.

"Oh, right there Scott. Right there!"

"Can't breathe down here you know…"

"Sorry…it's just that-"

"I got air, let's go." Scott said as Kim's voice echo's voice fill the room once more of her encouraging moans. It was wrong…and I was starting to feel guilty but…

_Dammit Scott…what are you doing to Kim…_ I thought to myself as I felt myself become 'bothered' by what was going on. I knew I couldn't blame myself for reacting the way I did. I'm sixteen. I have needs too. But to hear someone else's 'needs' being satisfied out there? It made me feel 'needy' I felt disgusted but I just couldn't fight the urge anymore. I slowly traced the curve of my body until it made its way down to here its was aching the most.

"Mmm…" I stifled a moan as Kim's and Scott's voices slowly went from disturbing to encouraging.

_I…I'll just do this once. Only once. Then, it'll never come back or think of my friends like this again! I just-_

"What? No condom?" Kim's hoarse voice asked as I heard Scott shuffle through his stuff but was unable to find what he was looking for.

"S-Sorry Kim."

I felt disappointed in Scott…hell, Kim probably felt disappointed the most. Our little charade was over, and I was slightly relieved. Or at least that's what I thought.

"Risk it?" Scott asked.

"Risk it." Kim demanded as the next sound what something that I never heard come out of Kim's mouth before: a loud, genuine, moan.

"Oh Scott!"

"K-Kim!"

_Oh my God._ I thought to myself, continuing where I left off. The sound of loud moaning and body slapping started to form into a rhymic pattern, one that I can follow along with.

"Right there! Yes! Yes!"

"Kim…I can't go any longer…." Scott said out load.

"Outside …please." Kim begged. I knew it was the begging that pushed Scott over the edge. With the sound of relief coming out of both participants, I heard their voices go from erratic down to panting, then down to calm and controlled. I, shamefully, came along with them, and I did my best to match their voices to mask my own voice from them. I shivered from guilt and a felt a cloud of shame hovered over my head. What I just did…I knew I could never utter a single word to them. Though I felt very satisfied from my action, I knew that I could never live it down.

"You came a lot there stud." Kim said as they were still trying to catch their breath.

"S-sorry. Let me get you some toilet paper to wipe that up." Scott said as I saw a shadow approach my stall. My eyes widen as my heart skipped a beat. I saw Scott's bare feet appear at the bottom of my stall door as I heard him pull slightly at the door, trying to get it open.

OH SHI-

_"__No need. I got it." Kim said as I heard her to take the paper towels near the sink and wiped herself off. My eyes were fixated at the door. I wouldn't take much just to pull on that door and expose myself and my dark secret that I decide to hold to myself until the day I die._

_"__Well, I still need to wipe myself off."_

_OH GOD NO!_

_"__Just use the towels you baby."_

_Whew…_

_"__But what's rough on my junk. Gotta use soft toilet paper._

_NO!_

_"__God you're such a wimp. Let's go. Lisa is waiting for us, remember?" Kim said as I saw the articles of clothing disappeared one by one and soon, with the sound of the door opening and closing, they were gone. I didn't come out right away. I was scared that they would suddenly come back for some unexplained reason. But after another two minutes have past, I came out. _

_"__Never…again…." I said_

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><p><em>And so<em>

"Lisa, you're late again." Kim said as I made it to the meeting spot five minutes later.

"Sorry, Sorry. Practice took a bit of a…detour today."

"So where do you guys want to eat. I'm starving." Scott said as I could only laugh a bit trying to surpass the urge of saying 'yeah I bet you are'.

"Oh, before I forget, here Lisa." Kim said as she reached into her backpack and took out ChapStick. I blinked a few times before gave me it. I could smell it in the hair. Kim already chapped her lips up "Thanks for lending me your ChapStick."

"Did you recently use this?"

"Yeah…why?"

"Keep it." I said, handing it back to her.

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><p>"See Kim…that's why your story about Scott and Ramona having loud sex at night sucks." I told Kim who was frozen on the couch of Scott's second floor apartment. Her mouth was wide open while I casually sipped on some water through a straw. "Mmm…this is some clean water. This tap?"<p>

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><p>The End…for now!<p> 


End file.
